An Unusual and Heartwarming Friendship
Friends are important for our quality of life and for our health. It is known that friendship reduces stress, improves our mental health, builds our confidence, provides support and so much more. We have the opportunity to form bonds and make friends every day.
Meet Shirley, Elizabeth and Michelle. In even in the most daunting of situations. these three extraordinary women formed a friendship and a lifelong bond all while getting treated for breast cancer at the John A. DeQuattro Cancer Center. The following is a conversation held on July 21, 2023 about their story and their friendship and their shared goal to be free of breast cancer.
Q: Tell our readers about your diagnosis.
Shirley: Following a mammogram, I was alerted of an issue with the mammogram reading, and that the doctor would be in to talk with me. When the doctor arrived, he explained that there was an area of concern in the report and that he believed it to be cancer. My initial reaction was "okay, I will deal with it, but I have to talk to my daughter." When I shared the news with her, she said “Mom, you’ve been here before, and we are going to get through it again.” I felt that I could do this, and I soon began treatments at the John A. DeQuattro Cancer Center where I met Lil and Michelle.
Elizabeth (Lil): I went for a mammogram, and they discovered something abnormal. I was asked to go back for a second mammogram, which showed the same result – cancer. I was given three options: surgery, radiation or let it wait. Because of my family history, I decided to not wait. And so, I had a breast biopsy, followed by radiation, and my surgery was done in January 2023, followed by another series of radiation. I met Shirley and Michelle during my radiation therapy. I am very fortunate to have been in the early stages of my treatment with both of them.
Michelle: I went for my normal mammogram, and they found something. A biopsy was done, and the result was stage two breast cancer. I had surgery followed by radiation, which is where I met Shirley and Lil, two amazing women.
Q: Tell our readers about your journey and how you felt mentally, emotionally and physically during that journey.
Shirley: I had breast cancer on the left side before and had my treatment at the DeQuattro Cancer Center. When I learned of the cancer on my right side, I came back to the Cancer Center. This time, something was different. My mental state, for some reason, I felt like God sent me there for some reason. What I was going through was bigger than me. And I said okay God I do not understand this, but I am going to trust the journey that I am on with you. You never let me down, ever. So, I am going to trust this right here and I made it through. The first time I was not in a good place. I was depressed. But this time I was in a better place, spiritually, and emotionally. I have two amazing women to call my friends and I love them. I call them my sanctified soul sisters. They prayed with me, they prayed for me, they prayed for me through it. I had such peace that I did not have the first time around. So, I told myself I was going to trust him and embrace it, and that is when I met Lil and Michelle.
Lil: I went to the DeQuattro Center during COVID. It was a very difficult time for everybody. I was scared. I did not know how far down the cancer was at stage one and I was concerned that it might have been down to the bone and that fear held steadfast in the back of my mind. But like Shirley, I believe in God. I sometimes do not always use the language of God, but I do believe. I also believe that it was a miracle that we just happened to be there. When I look around and hear other people's stories, it makes me appreciate how scared I was and how scared others can be too. Like putting a cross in a room. You bring in your cross and you learn to bear it because somebody else's cross is a lot bigger and a lot different than yours.
Michelle: When I started this journey, I was not in a great headspace. There were a lot of outside factors making it very difficult for me. The only reason I went through treatment was for my daughters. I was very angry at God at that point in my life because of everything. I walked into the Cancer Center thinking, "All right, do what you can do, you can quit at some point if you need to." I was in such a bad spot in my life mentally, but I went in there and I made a commitment. I met Shirley and Lil after a couple of treatments, and they made it bearable to start going in for treatments. Their support helped. It is not an easy journey. I wanted to quit many times, but I did not. Now I am in a great spot in my life, and I have to thank these two ladies for it.
Q: If someone is considering the John A. DeQuattro Cancer Center, but they aren't sure if it is going to be worth it for them, what would you tell them?
Shirley: I would say it is worth it. I had a strong support team with the nurse navigators which made it so much easier. Because I was already there before, I got through it then and I knew I was going to get through it again. I would say give it a chance and it will be worth it.
Lil: I would tell them to give it every opportunity. The staff at the Cancer Center were phenomenal. From the receptionist and all who I came in contact with during treatment. I just cannot say enough about them. They were just so kind and so respectful. I would highly recommend it.
Michelle: I would also highly recommend it. The staff was incredible, from the receptionist to the nurses to the nutritionist. Just to be able to sit and talk with one of the nurses about my concerns and everything that I was going through. They are phenomenal.
Q: The three of you all were together when you rang the last bell. Can you talk about that?
Ringing the bell marks when a patient finishes their chemotherapy or radiation therapy treatment.
Shirley: We were at everybody's celebration. Lil was first. So, when her time came to ring the bell, we showed up. We brought her a few things to inspire and encourage her on her journey. To see her ring that bell was amazing and so exciting. It was just a great feeling to know that she got through it. And just waiting for each one of us to ring our bell. And that was amazing.
Lil: When it was Shirley's turn to ring the bell, I came in because Shirley is wonderful and very thoughtful. She had brought balloons and everything on the day that I rang the bell. I felt the least I could do was reciprocate. I also came in when Michelle rang her bell. It is just a bond that we formed. I just cannot say enough about it.
Michelle: We got to see each other across the finish line. I am trying to think of a perfect word for the experience. It gives you strength to watch everyone else and it gives you hope. I watched Lil go through it and then I watched Shirley go through it too. Each time I told myself, I can do this, I can cross that finish line. If I do not cross the finish line, they are going to chase me down. (laughter) But we were there for each other’s celebration, it gave me hope. It was just an incredible heartwarming, life-changing moment to watch each of these amazing women ring that bell and go, "I'm done. See what I can do?" And, you know, I idolize these two women.
Finding friendship in your peers
Outside of the amazing care and support that the John A. DeQuattro Cancer Center provides, one can find support and friendship among their peers. The John A. DeQuattro Center fosters an environment meant to inspire everyone during one of the scariest moments of their life. Thank you to Shirley, Lil, and Michelle for sharing your stories and showcasing your friendship to help inspire us all.
Early detection
Early detection is the best protection against cancer. It is estimated that 2 million people will be diagnosed with Cancer in 2024 in the United States. An estimated 310,720 women and 2,790 men will be diagnosed with breast cancer, which makes it the most common cancer diagnosis. Prostate cancer is the leading cancer diagnosis among men and the second most common diagnosis overall with 299,010 expected cases. Lung and bronchus cancer is the third most common cancer diagnosis with an estimated 234,580 new cases.
Please don’t miss out on your health screenings so cancer is detected early and treated quickly. Learn more about our screening options below: